Our MOPS theme this year is; Plunge-love as if your life depended on it. Taking the plunge by being bold and taking risks to build deeper authentic relationships with each other. Being real, for real, in the hopes that we as women can build a community that holds each other up by showing love to each other despite all the things that make us different. Ha, easy. right?
I will be bold here and say that I am not that authentic with you. Authentic and bold with the good but not so with the bad and ugly. I love to celebrate your joys and to share your tears but I am afraid to share mine. Why? I guess it is deep seeded leftover yuck from an old life, from a different time, from a different girl that still carries a few scars and secrets from that life. Insecurities of people leaving and humiliating when life got a little messy.
Before MOPS, I went over 10 years without having a friend (besides my husband). I was so afraid of all the things that could go wrong again that I didn't even think about all the things that could go right. It was a journey I started to seek once I gave my life to Christ. It was scary, but I took the first step and then the next and that brings us to tonight. I have been planning this blog for a while now and praying about the first thing I would write. For a long time, nothing, that is until God laid this on my heart last night. If I ever want to sleep again...I better get this all down;)
My smile and joy are real but my year, my year was really really tough. I didn't tell you I had surgery until after the fact. I was afraid you would feel burdened by my admission and also I was a little afraid of rejection. I didn't tell you that my dad and big sister were both diagnosed with cancer in the same month. I didn't tell you that I watched as my big strong dad become weak, unsteady, and forgetful. I didn't tell you that I held my big sister, a woman I loved like a mother, in my arms talking to her of death and heaven days before she met her Savior in heaven. I didn't tell you how hard it was to be so strong for my parents and family. I didn't tell you then but I am telling you now. Sharing this to tell you that you are not alone, that it is OK to be vulnerable, and that it is OK to let others pray for you through the ups and downs. When we come together as believers, Christ is there with us (Matthew 18:20) and we can make things happen!
Tonight, I am being bold. Leaving behind what is safe in order to have something that is real. Scary, not anymore. Why? Because it is written that "God did not give us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind" (2 Tim 1:7). God allowed these trials in my life for a divine purpose, all things working together for good (Romans 8:28). My trials have given me character, perseverance, and have helped me to grow to be more like my Savior. My sharing is so we, as the body of Christ (Romans 12:5) can sharpen one another (Proverbs 27:17).
My sisters, are you ready to take the plunge?
Be Blessed and be a Blessing,
Rebecca
Pin It
No comments:
Post a Comment